While lying awake today at 5am reflected on why feeling of late blog more of a chore than a pleasure. Realised spending time, much more than 10 minutes rule, trying to find new external sources to entertain an imaginary audience. Not something I expected to do when I started. This was about finding just for me, a pleasurable creative diversion from my personal demons using my own thoughts and experiences. Engaging with external world might have had a part to play but internal dialogue set down was to be core of healing process.
Is the direction this has taken off course? Who knows. There is of course no right answer but feel I need at this point to choose between going forward or going back. Except that isn’t so. Could also stay resolutely put and as for going back is that good or bad? Forward to where?
Play with the words while life and time passes. What would you, should you, could you do in your real life away from this word sanctuary. Is the building surrounded by words and books a retreat or a prison? Support or restraint? Real or imaginary? The clock ticks, time to face the day or the night. Let’s see where the morrow takes me.
Have a good life.