Thank you autosave …..
Ought to make me smile. Thought I had lost forever the words so carefully crafted as I didn’t remember to press save but no just hidden in draft . Here they are ..
Simple . Struggled to find thought for day. I realised my bucket list is not exotic places or adrenalin thrills its just being with family and friends and feeling a sense I still have some purpose and can help and support others. All too often descend into self pity as can only see demands I must now make on others and wearing away of independence and self worth. Ironically after initial euphoria of technical challenge the title of this blog symbolises already not hope of what I can now do with time no longer constrained by work or young family but opposite realisation that I always found time for the things (work was one of then) and people ( the boys have flown) I loved. Work and the children my passion .So where does that leave me now I have time but what of energy and absence of fear . Fear that what I love will be taken from me , without faith the end seems so hard to face and in fearing it I face each day anxious instead of grateful. Already anticipating punishment without even doing the crime.
So where does that leave me today . Words written but where is the joy . Change just one moment . Do just one kind thing for another for yourself. Have a nice day .